What is Love?
by Gallifreyan927
Summary: Starting with Lily and James' last day of their seventh year and ending with the end of the war with Harry and Voldemort, and some variations of the years in between. Will Harry be able to cope with seeing his friends happy with their parents? *Scraped due to lack of enthusiam and no reviews. Incomplete, will probably never be finished. Shame, really liked it.*
1. Chapter 1

Author's Note: Hello again, it's been near five years since I have written anything. My earlier works (from grade school age) include: "To be or not to be", "MIA", and A True Love, A True Horror". These are extremely early works and full of, interesting ideas and grammar errors. This is my new shot at something different, and I'll be honest with you, I only have this first chapter thought out completely. Some maybe rough, but I'll do my best to keep a steady flow and not have too many irrational jumps. Please enjoy and remember: R&R!

Chapter 1

"Lily! Lily, come on, I am sorry! I didn't know you felt that strong about him," a young boy of 17 shouted running across the lawn by the lake in the shadow of a huge castle mid-spring. "Get lost Potter! We agreed to one date and you blew it," the girl named Lily shouted back. Just as James reached out to grab her hand, a great black dog knocked him to the ground, "Damn it Sirius! Did you really have to do that," James asked pushing the massive dog off and dusting his black robes clean. In the blink of an eye, the dog became a laughing boy lounging in the grass. "Just give her some time Prongs, she'll come around. It might help if you didn't abuse Snape so much. You know how her sweet little heart of gold bleeds for the helpless ones." James nodded and pulled a golden snitch out of his pocket, letting it fly a short distance ahead of him before swiftly catching it. "Tonight, things will be different," James murmured to Sirius. "Better hurry mate, train leaves tomorrow and then you won't see her anymore."

James sat alone on his bed, staring at the empty room. Everything was packed up and ready to leave. His watch beeped once, signifying that he needed to head to dinner. Straightening his clothes out, James calmly walked alone to the Gryffindor table. Sirius, Remus, Peter, and James all sat at the end of table nearest to the head table, while Lily and her friends sat a few seats down, embracing each other as they wept their final good-byes. The hall was decked out in red and gold, once again, Gryffindor had won the house cup. None of this mattered to James though; all he could do was stare into Lily's tear-filled eyes and wishing that those tears were for him. "Prongs? You got some liquid leaking from your eye socket, you might want to get that looked at," Peter said, poking some fun at his pain. "Aw, Wormtail let him be! His stone-cold heart has been melted, and it probably hurts, what you think Padfoot," Remus joked as he gestured out a melting heart with his hands. "Alright you two that's enough. James really isn't holding up to well," Sirius whispered so James wouldn't hear. Almost as if on cue, James got up and slowly walked down to Lily and her friends.

"_You can do this James, just, tell her you're sorry and ask her to write,_" he pulled out a handmade necklace, "_A small peace offering, I hope,_" he thought to himself as he reached Lily. Clearing his throat, he gently touched Lily's shoulder. "Lily, please understand that my wicked heart was unaware of how kind and gentle yours is. I do apologize for my actions of late, and I wish to change," James began. Before he could continue, Lily held up her hand, "James, you're a cruel person, but not a bad person. I shouldn't have stormed off from you, but I couldn't take it anymore." James sighed, knowing he was on the losing end, "Lily, please write me, we won't see each other anymore, but I don't want you to forget me. I made you this, no magic was involved, and my own two hands did it." He held out the necklace, a small emerald encased in a silver lining shone in the candle light like a million tiny stars, "I found this stone near the lake and thought of your eyes, so made it into a necklace for you. If you don't mind I would like to see it on you." Lily gave James a small smile to him as she lifted her hair from her neck.

Fumbling with the clasp, he gently placed the chain about her neck and let it gently fall into place. A gasp from her friends was heard around her as she shook her hair down and the stone fit perfectly with her eyes and her ruby hair. Without turning back around, she uttered a small thank you and gripped the pendent in her hand, pulling it closer to her heart. Just then, James felt bolder than normal and bent down and lightly kissed her cheek, whispering in her ear to please write him. A small nod from her was all he needed before returning to his friends, who had promised each other to stick together over summer. On the train ride home, nothing could put a damper on James' day.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

While the other recently released seventh years celebrated that they were officially of age witches and wizards who could go out and start their apprenticeships, James sat near the window of the Hogwarts Express in the front of the train and stared out blankly. Sirius, noticing James' new disposition, slid onto the seat next to him and laid a hand on his shoulder. "James, it's okay. This will all pass over. Lily will write. Come on, we are almost to London. Let's enjoy the time we have, we don't know when our path will cross with these people again. Solemnly, James nodded and got up to join the going home party. He barely heard the music and laughter the entire ride home. As he stepped off the train and onto the platform, he was crushed in a bear hug of immeasurable size. When he could see straight again, he looked down to see red hair. "Lily? Is this you," he asked nervously. The only response he received was, "Mmhmm!" "Well, uhm, what are doing?" Lily looked up and her eyes were sparkling with tears, "I'm going to miss you so much." James sighed and laid his head on top of hers, "I'm going to miss you too Lily."

Stepping into the sun of London, James glanced around one last time to try and see Lily, but he couldn't find her. Sirius soon appeared on his side, "Let's go bro, I'm ready to go home. Your mum's home cooking is delicious; especially when it's our first night back." James nodded and led Sirius around the back of King's Cross Station to his parent's car. The ride home was filled with chatter that James participated in minimally. "James? Are you listening? I asked you a question sweetie," his mum said looking into the rearview mirror. James was pulled back into reality after day dreaming about holding Lily close to him. "Sorry mum, I was just, thinking. What was the question?" His mum laughed and asked, "What are you going to do now? Sirius says he wants to work in the ministry." He looked to Sirius who just smiled at him. "I haven't really thought about it. Maybe an Auror….I just don't know yet," he replied before turning back to the window. Sirius let out a large bark-like laugh and said, "You do to! You want that pretty little thing to be your wife!" After that, the car ride was for the most part silent.

James sat alone in his room while Sirius showed off his usual tricks that just get better with time. It had been months since that day on Platform 9 ¾, and he had received nothing from Lily. "_Maybe she didn't miss me as much as she let on._" He turned out his light from his wand and rolled over to get some sleep. Nightmares of blinding green lights, high pitched laughter, and a ghostly white face with glowing red eyes filled his head. Then the mystery man began knocking on his door, but James was too afraid to answer it. The knocking grew louder and louder until it woke him from his dream, where he realized that the knocking wasn't just in his dream, but at his window as well. Hesitantly, he pulled back his curtains to see a tawny owl tapping its talon on the glass. Quietly, he opened the window, not wanting to draw Sirius upstairs, just in case the letter was from Lily.

Surprisingly, there were two attached letters. On one, the writing was clearly that of Professor Albus Dumbledor, the other was female and curly. Putting aside his curiosity, James opens the letter from Dumbledor first.

Dear Mr. Potter,

In light of recent, but quiet events, a new wizard is coming to power. He is going by the name Lord Voldemort. Please bring yourself and Mr. Sirius Black to the house at Number 12, Grimmauld Place. I understand he is now the owner of it since his family has passed or disappeared. Once I receive your return owl, I will give you the password to speak to the man who will ask for it. This is not to be taken lightly Mr. Potter, I shall expect to you see you two there on the 23rd of September.

Albus Dumbledor

Puzzled by this letter, he scrawls out a reply to Dumbledor assuring him that he and Sirius will both be there on the requested day. Next, he turns to the other letter, lying on his bed looking almost lonely. He gently tears it open with bated breath, not wanting to get over excited for something that may not be what he hopes. As the envelope opens, he can smell a familiar perfume wafting out of the contents. "Lily," he breathes as he gently removes the folded parchment.

James!

I'm sorry I haven't written sooner, but I have just been so busy! My sister, Petunia, is extremely jealous and angry about me being a witch. It's becoming unbearable to live with her. She is always muttering under her breath that I'm a freak. If I hadn't been to Hogwarts, I think I might have agreed with her. To a muggle, we are kinda freaky. This isn't the point of my letter though. I want you to know I miss you. I'm sorry I didn't share this with you sooner, but I have, in a way, fallen for you. I received a letter from Dumbledor, and I am sure if I got it, you did to. Please, in your return letter, let me know if you will be at the place called Grimmauld on the 23rd of September. James, I haven't removed your necklace except for showers. I just, want you to know that, I believe I have fallen for you. I didn't want anyone to know because I was scared. I guess my reputation was more important to me than my feelings, and I am sorry. It was stupid of me, but I hope that now we can start over and maybe something will come of it. I hope to see you soon Jamie….I hope you don't mind Jamie…I thought it was cute. If nothing else, we should go to Diagon Alley and just hang out, maybe get some lunch. Well, uhm, good-bye James!

Yours Truly,

Lily Evans

James sighed to himself before writing a return letter to Lily, explaining that he would, indeed be seeing her on the 23rd and would indeed love to hang out with her at Diagon Alley someday. He folded the letter gently before reopening it scribble on the bottom that he would love to be Jamie. He tied the letters to the post owl and dropped some silver sickels in the pouch strapped to its leg as it took off through the window. He watched the owl until it disappeared into the dark before heading downstairs to show Sirius the letter from Dumbledor; Lily's letter was to be a secret. No one but James needed to see the words the Lily had entrusted to him.

Sirius understood what the letter meant, and agreed that they should meet with Dumbledor, however vague he was. James glanced at the calendar before saying, "Sirius, that's tomorrow, the owl must have gotten lost with the post for a while. We need to go in the morning out into the back and apparate." Sirius nodded before running upstairs and beginning to pack his clothes up. James followed quickly, confused as to his friend's reaction. "Padfoot, what are you doing? We will probably be there only a few days. Do you really think you need everything," he asked quietly. Sirius sighed and closed the lid of his truck, which now held all of his possessions, thanks to a simple shrinking charm, "If they can allow me back in that house that means dear old mum is gone. The house is mine. I am going to claim it as my own as it is."

"If that is how you feel, then I'll help you move in." James gave his friend a simple smile and helped him latch it shut. That last night together was spent with music and laughter, who would have known that the end was so near? As night fell, so did James' heart when he realized the seriousness of the situation at hand. If this was to lead to war, he might not have another chance to admit his feelings. As a shadow passed over the moon, he whispered, "I love you Lily."


	3. Chapter 3

I know it's been awhile, but I couldn't see updating something that it seems as if no one is even bothering to read. I'm hoping this changes within the next few chapters, or I may lose hope again!

**Chapter 3**

Early that morning, Sirius had received the address and password. About 7:30 A.M., James and Sirius said their good byes and shared tear-filled toast and jam with James' parents. "Ready Prongs," Sirius said, grabbing James' sleeve. James had barely nodded before it felt as though a hook was pulling him by his navel into swirling darkness. Just as it began, it ended. They were standing in a park across the street from houses piled quite close together. Sirius showed James the paper from Dumbledor, and as they looked up again, suddenly number 12 had appeared between number 11 and number 13. They slowly walked up and knocked on the door; a ragged voice came through the other side of the door, "If you are who you look like, what's the name of the sister of the one who summoned you here?" James looked puzzled to Sirius who merely smiled and said, "Arianna." A grunt from within told them they had gotten it right as the door swung open. A burly man stood there, with a false leg, heavy scars, and what seemed to be a magical eye; he held out his hand to the boys. "Alastair Moody. Auror to the Ministry of Magic. Now get in here before someone sees you," he said as he grabbed Sirius and James by their collars and drug them inside.

Without another word, Moody limped off down the hall. Sirius followed and whispered to James to "be quiet near the stairs, wouldn't want to wake dear old mum's portrait up." James was puzzled by this statement, but did happen to notice the portrait covered in curtains as they passed by. As they entered the kitchen, Dumbledor, Remus, Lily, Peter, Severus, Arthur, Molly, the Longbottoms, the Lovegoods, and many others were seated around the great wooden table. While everyone exchanged joyous hellos, James headed straight for Lily, who took his hand and kissed it. Without another word, he went and sat across from her (not being able to sit next to her since Severus Snape had taken that seat and was trying to slip his hand into Lily's).

Sighing, James turned away, but not before Snape was sure to shoot him a grin as he slipped his arm around Lily, who shrugged it off while whispering, "Not here, this is a place of business." Placing a hand on James' shoulder, Remus gave him a silent apology. Noticing the ragged appearance of his friend, Prongs shifted in his seat so Moony could sit, this time of the month was always rough on him. Just then, Dumbledor stood up to speak, "You have all been called here because I trust you. As you may have noticed, some of your friends have changed. No, it's no one here in this room I assure you. Tom Marvolo Riddle is going by a new name: Lord Voldemort. His magic is darker than anything you have seen. He must be stopped. I fear it will be difficult and cost many of us our lives. Recently, Tom has started gathering followers. What they plan to do, I don't know. Tom is a clever boy, I should know, I taught him when he was at Hogwarts, long before I became headmaster. This small gathering of friends will be joined by some of our ministry friends in due time. Welcome, to The Order of the Phoenix." As he concluded, he sat back down as the rest of the room stared at each other in disbelief. Lily was the first to gain enough courage to speak, "Please sir, what is it he is after?"

It took him awhile to answer; all eyes were shifting from him to Lily and back again. With a heavy sigh he replied, "I am not sure. He is very much against anyone not a pureblood of course, and he is a treasure seeker, but I don't mean gold. Tom could be after anything right now. All that is clear though is that he is after power. What he intends to do with this power is beyond even my knowledge. Again, the room fell to silence; all that could be heard was the whir of Alastair's magical eye spinning in its makeshift socket. It was about fifteen minutes before Dumbledor spoke again, "You are dismissed. We will begin strategizing once the rest of our friends have joined us with more news."

Sirius led the way up to his old room, not even glancing at his brother's across the hall. James had learned not to ask questions about Padfoot's brother, it always made him uneasy. They spent much of the night wondering what this Tom person was like, because they both noticed the air of sadness around Dumbledor as he spoke about him. Once Sirius drifted off to sleep, James crept out in hopes to find Lily before she fell asleep. His heart skipped a beat when he hit the bottom of the stairs and her voice in the den, unfortunately, the voice accompanying her was disheartening.

It was clear they were arguing, their voices were getting louder and more heated. Suddenly, Snape burst out into the hall and out the door. As James listened closer, he could hear Lily sobbing in the next room. _"I should probably go comfort her, but seeing as she is crying over __him__, maybe I shouldn't. I thought she wanted me, not him."_ Sighing, James' heart gave in and he quietly pushed the door open and could just make out Lily in the firelight sitting in the massive armchair, all curled up and her head buried in here legs.

I hope it was enjoyable, I know it was a slow chapter, but starting with the next one time will move much faster. I know everyone just wants to get to Harry and the gang anyway! R&R!


	4. Chapter 4

Wow, it's kind of sad my only reader is my boyfriend who stumbled across this when looking at my pictures. Well, chapter 4 is here, I'm thinking about cutting this off though and just starting a new one altogether. More details on my latest project to come later.

**Chapter 4**

James hesitated in the hall before sliding in silently through the swinging doors. Lily had her back to him; the firelight that was reflecting off of her hair and skin was so radiant that James had to compose himself before approaching her. Now was the time for a friend, not a stupid advancement. Unsure as to how to address this situation, he simply cleared his throat, causing Lily to jump out of her skin. Before she could start yelling, James cut in, "Sorry to have scared you, but I was up wandering, and I heard you and Sniv…Severus arguing, at least that's how it sounded. Are you okay? What just happened Lils?" Lily didn't respond right away, it seemed as though she was trying to figure out if it really was James in front of her.

"Severus, well, you remember a couple years back when he called me….a….a….a foul name?" Afraid to speak since he could already feel the anger swelling up inside him, James simply nodded. "I never really forgave him for it you see, but I promised him we'd talk about it tonight, but he has changed so much. All I asked for was a sincere apology, but he said I may not like the term, but I had best get used to it, since that is all I am." The high back chair in front of James made out of black leather was going to forever have James' nails imprinted on it from him holding himself there so as to not chase down Snape. "What happened next Lils," James asked through clenched teeth, yellow sparks flying from the wand in his breast pocket of his bath robe.

Lily chanced a look at James before turning back to the fire, "I told him then he has made a horrid mistake befriending and apparently falling for me because I don't date foul, loathsome, evil, little cockroaches. Then, he left." Shivering slightly she moved herself closer to the fire. James, putting all feelings towards "that bastard" aside, grabbed a Slytherin blanket that was thrown over the back of a leather couch that matched the chair, sat down next to Lily and draped it over her shoulders.

They sat in silence, both of them unmoving and watching the fire fade. Neither wanted to get up and stroke it, so it slowly died out on its own, leaving them engulfed in darkness. James ever so slightly shivered next to her, but Lily noticed and scooted closer to him, throwing half the blanket around his shoulders as well. He smiled at her and motioned to the couch. Lily jumped up, and for a slight second, James thought he had crossed the line, but instead she held out her hand and led him to the couch.

"Lily, use me as a pillow okay," James whispered as she tried to sit down. The pause she gave was just long enough for James to slip in and pull her into his lap. Unsure of what to do, Lily laid her head against his chest, and felt for the first time, the muscles hidden behind the thin frame. Within minutes of James covering her with the blanket once again, Lily had closed her eyes and drifted off into an easy sleep for the first time in months, maybe years.

Her sleep was interrupted just a few short hours later by the breakfast rush. James had yet to fall asleep because he was too busy stroking her hair and face. As the front door opened and shut many times, each time with Moody growling at those who wished to enter the house. "_Thank goodness no one has come in here. I can only imagine what they would think if they saw this,_" James thought to himself as he gently kissed the top of Lily's head. She shifted slightly in her sleep and sighed as she nuzzled her head into James' chest. Slowly, he began to rest his head on her's, hoping to catch a little sleep.

The ten minutes of relaxation he got felt like a few seconds. Just as he started to drift off, Sirius burst into the sitting room; catching sight of James and Lily he howled with laughter and yelled for Remus, who was closely followed by Peter. Ignoring James' silent pleas to be quiet, the boys began swapping stories as to what may have happened during the night. Each tale was more erotic than the last, except for Wormtail's, he just shifted nervously on the spot looking at the floor.

Before long, Lily stirred again, this time waking up all the way. The first thing she saw was James' eyes. Unfortunately, she didn't notice the other three boys before she leaned up and kissed him passionately on the lips. The Marauders (including James himself) were speechless. The kiss may have lasted longer, but Sirius couldn't contain himself anymore before he burst out with a very audible, "Awwwwww!" As Lily jumped and swung her head around, Lupin opened his book and pretended to read while Wormtail scurried out of the room as quick as he could.

Once she realized all who was in the room, she rounded on James and firmly whispered, "I can't believe you would humiliate me this way." Wrapping herself in the blanket, she took off upstairs to get dressed. Once she left, James went ballistic, not on Remus, who followed shortly after Lily, but on Sirius. "SOME BROTHER YOU ARE," James roared. Padfoot had never seen him so angry and was at a loss for words at James' tone. "NOW SHE THINKS I SET HER UP LAST NIGHT TO BE THE LAUGHING STOCK OF THE ORDER! NEXT TIME, THINK MAN," he bellowed as he stormed out of the room and up the stairs to where Lily was staying.

"Lily dear, please open up," he pleaded at the dark oak door where tears could be heard on the other side. "Lily, Lils, I didn't set you up, I tried to stop him I really did. Please open the door." He heard the lock slide back, and he hesitantly opened her door. Even in tears, he thought she was beautiful. He wrapped her in his arms and kissed her forehead all while rocking her gently in his arms. Finally she stopped crying and smiled at him with the sweet innocent smile that James loved so much. "Please, wait here. I've done enough damage today, but I have to try," he said as took off across the hall.

After what seemed like forever to Lily, James finally returned. He scooped her up and set her on the edge of the bed. "Lily, I love you. I always have. Whether or not you feel the same way, I don't know. This may seemed rushed, or even too bold, but it feels right in my heart, and I can't hold off anymore," James said with his voice shaking and many swallows of air. Carefully, he got down on one knee, his hands shaking as he reached into his pocket. He didn't even get the box out before Lily had gasped and her hands had flown over her mouth. "Lily, will you marry me," James asked as he opened the little black box. "This ring was my mother's, and I believe it will look exquisite on your hand."

Without waiting for an answer, he took her left hand and slid the tiny heart shaped diamond with surrounding rubies and sapphires onto her hand. Lily took a moment to completely take in the beauty of the ring on her hand. Suddenly, she jumped into James' arms crying and whispering, "Yes" into his ear as she kissed him all over. James had never been quite this happy, but just a few towns over, a young man was standing outside of a wrought iron gate, awaiting his entrance to the manor.

I'd say I hope you're enjoying this, but I am not sure if you are. My work that will be done alongside this one will be a Lily Evans/Severus Snape love story about how Harry's life would be different if his father was Snape and James was the heartbroken protagonist.


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